Premature Depth Chart Predictions: Runningback

As the sun slowly sets on the 2008 pre-season ... ummm ... season, panic slowly engulfs me as I realize that I only have a week to crank out five pieces on the team roster. With a big project creeping up this week starting with a trip to Memphis on Monday, it seems that procrastination has the better of me this year.

Apologies in advance for the lowering of the standards of what is already low quality journalism, even by blogging standards.

[More chatty text goes here]

Now, on to the Runningbacks.

Fullback: Mike "Muthafucking" Karney
Not many people know this, but Mike Karney's middle name is an expletive. This is certainly in reference to his birth, which his mother did naturally in a crowded elevator with nothing except Kenny G Musak for painkillers. This made his transition to an NFL player virtually seemless as his the targets of his blocks can often he heard rattling off the same string of expletives once sung by his mother on the floor of that dirty elevator to the tune of "I Can't Tell You Why". Only now the tune comes with a vibrating baseline instead of the haunting notes of a soprano sax.

Karney is the best fullback in the league at a time when fullbacks are a dying breed.
He runs.
He blocks.
He catches.
He destroys.
He's Mike "Muthafucking" Karney.

Bitch.

Halfback: Deuce McAllister, Reggie Bush, Pierre Thomas, Aaron Stecker
Deuce is trim and in better shape than he's been in since his rookie season. Drew Brees has remarked how quick he looks in his cuts, which is key coming back from his injury. I'm sure the reduced weight will help his recovery and well as how quickly he begins to "trust" his rebuilt knee. I don't expect his to break away from many safeties, but that's not where he's needed. We need the guy who finds a seam and slips through it before falling forward for four yards. If he just so happens to knock heads with Derrick Brooks while he's falling forward, that's bonus.

Reggie seems to really be applying himself this year. He asked the coaches what he could do to improve and then followed up on their instructions, sticking with the team in New Orleans this offseason watching film, bonding, growing, etc. in between knocking the bottom out of Kim Kardashian. The talking heads keep telling us internet guys how good he looks in practice, but so far on the field we keep seeing a guy terribly miscast at runningback, avoiding his calling as the NFL's best receiver. I love Reggie to death and I hope he remains a Saints until his, but I cant' seem to shake the belief that he would be more effective were he not getting hit at the line of scrimmage so much.

Pierre Thomas seems like a miniature version of Deuce, but without quite as much power. He showed his versatility last season rushing for over 100 yards and catching more than 100 yards versus the Bears. I am not so quick to anoint him anything other than a nice option on third downs, but isn't that what Reggie is for? I like Thomas on this team and hope he realizes just how productive he can be here. Hopefully he sticks around long enough to realize his full potential.

Aaron Stecker is a lock for this team. Aside from being the Special Teams captain, he is also the team's 3rd option a runningback, can catch passes out of the backfield, handles the team's film department, does Quality Control for the team's hydration committee and has been known to bake a scrumptious apricot brandy pound cake. In short he does whatever the coaches ask him to do, often without being asked. Every successful team has an Aaron Stecker on the roster who often goes unappreciated by fans. Stecker is no different.

Comment or die!